Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says.
不要等别人来道歉。弗雷德里克说：“许多时候，伤害你的人没有想过要道歉。
"They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time."
Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.
你要牢记，宽恕并不一定意味着顺从那些让你心烦意乱的人，也不意味着饶恕他或她的行为。
Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "
不要让冒犯你的人控制你的情绪。内心里总是想着自己的伤痛，只会给伤害你的人打气。
Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.
弗雷德里克说：“与其老是关注自己受到的伤害，还不如学着去寻找你身边的真善美。”
Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love.
To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.
为了能够站在别人的角度来看问题，你可以从冒犯你的人的立场给你自己写一封信。
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.
认识到宽恕的益处。研究表明懂得宽恕的人精力更旺盛、食欲更好、睡觉更香。
Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
