Forgiveness | 宽恕自己才是最大的挑战

Forgiveness

To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy.

宽恕是神圣的，但是没有人说很容易做到宽恕别人。

When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge.

当你被深深伤害的时候，想要不怀恨在心是很难做到的。

But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.

但是宽恕是可能的——而且这会给你的身心健康带来出乎意料的益处。

"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "

《宽恕的好处》一书的作者弗雷德里克博士说。“懂得宽恕的人不会感到那么沮丧、愤怒和紧张，他们总是充满希望。

So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."

所以宽恕有助于减少人体各种器官的损耗，降低免疫系统的疲劳程度并使人精力更加充沛。”

So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:

那么，如何恢复自己的情绪呢？试试下面的一些步骤吧：

Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "

让自己冷静下来。尝试一种简单的减压技巧来缓解你愤怒的情绪。

Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says.

弗雷德里克建议：“做几次深呼吸，然后想想那些令你快乐的事情，比如自然界的美丽景色，或者你爱的人。”

Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says.

不要等别人来道歉。弗雷德里克说：“许多时候，伤害你的人没有想过要道歉。

"They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time."

他们可能是故意的，也可能只是和你看待事物的方式不一样。所以如果你等着别人来道歉，你可能会等相当长的时间。”

Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

你要牢记，宽恕并不一定意味着顺从那些让你心烦意乱的人，也不意味着饶恕他或她的行为。

Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "

不要让冒犯你的人控制你的情绪。内心里总是想着自己的伤痛，只会给伤害你的人打气。

Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.

弗雷德里克说：“与其老是关注自己受到的伤害，还不如学着去寻找你身边的真善美。”

Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love.

试着从别人的角度来看问题。如果你站在别人的立场上，你也许会意识到他或她是因为无知、害怕、甚至是爱才那样做的。

To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.

为了能够站在别人的角度来看问题，你可以从冒犯你的人的立场给你自己写一封信。

Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

认识到宽恕的益处。研究表明懂得宽恕的人精力更旺盛、食欲更好、睡觉更香。

Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."